Twenty-Five / Once More Unto The Breach
Updated: Mar 7, 2020
Today marks my 25th birthday. Twenty-five years on this planet we call Earth (it also happens to be the day that this blog goes live; what are the chances of that?!). I have now reluctantly accepted that I am no longer in my "early twenties". 25 sits squarely, and undeniably, on the "mid twenties" side of things. It's the "pleasant sunny spring day" of ages - not too hot/old, or too cold/young. The "Goldilocks zone" of ages, if you will.
Hmm. Not sure that either analogy totally works there, but I've committed to it now.
As someone who is officially now in their "mid twenties", I often find myself thinking about what I thought being an adult would be like, and how my adult reality now, compares to it. To be honest it always seemed like such a distant and abstract concept during my childhood and teen years that I never spent that much time actually thinking about it, or picturing what my life might be like. Instead I would simply marvel at how knowledgeable all the adults were in my life - parents, teachers, family friends, lecturers. They had all the answers, and everything in their lives was in order. They all had it figured out, and they'd all obviously gone through a rigorous adulthood rite of passage at some point in their late teens or early twenties, and had emerged enlightened... as a real adult.
Well, I'm still waiting for my invite for this life-altering adulthood entrance exam. I often don't feel like an adult, but rather, that I am pretending to be one. Sure, I work a Mon-Fri office job, I went to University, I rent a flat... I do tick most of the boxes that you'd expect someone in their "mid twenties" to have achieved so far in their life. And yet, I often still feel like I am an impostor, waiting for the majestic knowledge and confidence that come with adulthood to be bestowed upon me.
In reality, I am sure that at least some of those adults around me in my formative years were putting on a brave face; feeling the same sense of self-doubt at crucial moments in their lives, their inner thoughts second-guessing their actions and words. It is becoming increasingly clear to me that there simply is no magical test or textbook to provide you with all the answers. Experience and confidence come over time, and after a lot of "faking it until you make it". I'm still a little overwhelmed by this fact, but I am somewhat comforted by the fact that we're all in the same boat, and that I think I'm doing okay at faking it until I make it so far.
Now that I've got through the mandatory existential crisis part of the blog, we can get onto business. I have had a fairly turbulent relationship with writing and blogging. Despite studying Journalism and Literature at Uni, I do find myself doing precious little in the writing department these days. I've dabbled with various Wordpress and Tumblr blogs over the years, but I was never able to consistently commit to them and found myself abandoning them before long. As I've now repeatedly mentioned, I'm 25 today and I figured that now would be the ideal time to return to the fold and commit to writing again. I'm a little older, a little wiser, and hopefully I have the motivation to really commit this time. So here I am, with a renewed sense of purpose, enthusiasm and adult wisdom (hmm, we'll see about that).
Blogging is fairly personal for me, and I don't really like to just write about one particular topic, because there are many different exciting avenues to discuss. So, prepare for erratic and abrupt content changes. One week I might be discussing Brexit and the political climate, and the next week I might be writing about how Mario Kart should never have introduced the Blue Shell item. Whatever the topic, I will attempt to keep it fairly entertaining and conversational, so please feel free to join me on my pretentious quest to broadcast my opinions on a wide variety of subjects. I welcome any feedback you may have and am more than happy to carry the discussion on, because I firmly believe that the world needs more open discussion.